The world seems to be awash with social media experts. They’re all over the place – and some have even been elevated to ‘guru’ status by people promoting them.
So I’d like to begin by asking: can please have the word ‘guru’ banned? It’s applied to so many people that the currency has been well and truly devalued. I believe there are now possibly more PR or social media ‘gurus’ in the world than there are people. So from now on I will only believe people are gurus if they are a bit mystic, shrouded in incense and have a very long beard.
But that’s a digression. Back to social media. It isn’t really my thing, but luckily my colleagues are very adept at it – so I’m not short of help. I get many emails from companies and individuals offering advice on how to master its mysteries. There are lots of people on my Twitter timeline who dispense wisdom on how to do it properly, win new business, unlock the secrets etc etc. Some must presumably be very good, as they seem to be making a living from it.
But there are just so many social media advisers out there, and many of them seem to Tweet about as often as they exhale. There is one who must surely be Tweeting non-stop: a bit like those unfortunate people who can never stop hiccupping. He followed me a while back and I reciprocated. I soon began to regret it.
Just about every time I logged on there he was: smiling at me, telling me how to do this or that and giving me links to articles and websites. But he seemed like a nice enough chap, and I didn’t want to unfollow him – as that would have been slightly rude. Yet some of the stuff he did seemed so pointless, like asking his thousands of followers what they were going to do that day. Well, I wasn’t going to bother to tell him. Would anyone?
Then, after a few weeks my attitude started to slide from indifference to irritation. My heart sank a little every time I entered Twitterland and was immediately confronted by this alleged guru, doing his usual stuff. And I noticed that he was repeating the same things over and over again. My Twitter experience became a bit like Groundhog Day.
My feeling ratcheted up from irritation to mild annoyance, like I was locked into virtual prison cell with this guy and forced to listen to him airing his views. And by now the last thing I wanted to do was to click on one of his links. I was determined that he wasn’t going to wear me down. Hell no, I wasn’t going to give in to all this badgering. Yet he had lots of followers; so was this about him being misunderstood by me, or my lacking any sense of perception about the world of social media?
It was particularly peeving when he suggested I should be spending my Sundays ‘strategising’ my next social media campaign, ready for a supersonic start on Monday. No, I wanted to cut the grass and read the papers and recharge my batteries. I didn’t want someone making me feel that I’m a bone idle business failure, thanks all the same.
Eventually, I toyed with a drastic step: unfollowing him. Yes, termination with semi-extreme prejudice. I thought that was probably OK really because, as a social media guru, I suppose you shouldn’t really irritate the hell out of people so much that they wish to avoid you online. That seems to defeat the purpose. It occurred to me that this was an experience that made me question his ‘guruness’. He was having a negative effect on me now. I wondered if anyone would pay any attention to him – in a good way, that is. Any anyway, with all those followers he definitely wouldn’t miss me at all.
But, despite everything, I hung on in there – locked into my Twitter fate.
Then, just the other day, my life changed. I had a tremendous stroke of luck: he had unfollowed ME. This was a joyous and memorable moment, as it now meant I could unfollow him back without feeling guilty, antisocial and sort of giving him an electronic kick in the teeth. I was free! Big Brother had gone. Probably, my inane Tweets lacking any advice on strategy, how to spend your weekends, or anything useful at all, had irritated him even more than the other way around. I don’t care.
Having just unburdened myself, I suppose I should suggest there’s a lesson in this experience, to give it a (very tiny) point. As business person, run-of-the-mill web user and non-social media expert, it made me a bit more sceptical about much of the advice that bombards me via the web and Twitter. Underneath it may all be valuable and sensible stuff, but if the Tweets annoy you to distraction, then it surely can’t work, can it? Or maybe that’s just me.
Luckily, I get some business Tweets that are relevant, don’t turn up too often, and signpost that they will say something of interest. That’s OK by me: I like them and even take a look at some, now and then. Yes, first impressions count: and that’s as true on Twitter as in my non-virtual real life world.
Wynford Emanuel, Director